I first met my Joseph 3 years ago when I turned up to work at the Macs store he was working in. I can't say it was love at first sight (I don't believe in that nonsense, I believe you have to learn to love someone!) and that we bonded over our love for Quarter Pounders and chocolate milkshake, but there was this one time after work when I left through the back door (naughty Louise, that's not allowed!) and ended up finding out that he lived in the same little village I was living in at the time. I leaned on the wheelie bin, he gave me his number, and we decided to meet up the same night. Romantic stuff.
I remember what I wore, my Topshop denim skirt (I know now that he hates denim skirts!) and my grey Topshop felt coat. I remember it being cold. I was nervous and excited. We were 18/19, young, free, and soon to be single no more. It was the end of March and I'd just returned from visiting my university for their post application open day and knew I'd be going to live up in the North East in 6 months time. I was honest with him from the very beginning, and he promised me he'd stick by through and through. 3 years have passed, I'm due to graduate, and we're still together :-)
We're total opposites, which does and doesn't work.
I like reading books, he'd rather play FIFA.
He thinks potatoes are delightful, I think they're gross.
He's a night owl, I hate staying in bed past 8:30am.
He'd rather spend a sunday watching football, I'd rather be pampering in the bath.
He hates shopping, I shop too much.
I dislike cooking, he's a bit of a whizz in the kitchen.
Despite our flaws, we've stuck by each other for 3 years now long distance. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that LDR's are easy. When you're two people with separate lives who come together for a short while and are then torn apart again it's difficult to get back into the swing of things, and I know he finds it easier than I do. There are certain things he does that I wish he didn't do, and if I had to change one thing about our relationship then it'd be that he would call/text me more, but in the long run I have to be thankful that we have our health, we're still together, and that we're breathing.
If you're in a LDR, or are about to enter one here are my five top tips for surviving:
1) Call/text/FaceTime/send post often. I don't mean every five seconds, but a lovely random text message to remind them that you miss them, or that you're thinking of them is always a welcome message. With the advent of modern technology it's now much easier to communicate with people at the opposite end of the country, and even the opposite side of the world. I try and aim for a least one FaceTime session a week, to see your loved one's face is such a rare thing in an LDR that any time you can get to physically see them (even if it is through a computer screen) is better than no time at all. Communication is key.
2) Try not to mope. I found this hard initially, and even get angry sometimes when he doesn't display any signs of missing me at all, but go out and find things to do to fill up your time so you're not sitting around getting jealous of other couples who display too much PDA and who are having a whale of a time together. If that bothers you, just leave the room or the area and spend a few minutes reflecting on how you're feeling and then move on.
3) Schedule a time/place when you're going to see your partner again. I always find that having something to look forward to keeps me moving forward and gives me a goal to work towards. For example, J will be coming up to Durham to see me for my birthday, which is in approximately 22 days time. This spurs me on to complete my work on time, finish everything I have to do, and then make time to prepare for his arrival. Not only am I filling my time running around like a busy bee, finishing essays and washing my bedding, but it doesn't give me time to mope - bonus!
4) Ultimately you have to remember to think positive, and put your trust in your relationship. I know that this is easier said than done but I always find myself trusting him, but having no trust for other people. If anything horrendous did find it's way to warrant my attention I'd then be able to look at the bigger picture and not immediately jump to conclusions involving him.
5) No matter what, don't ever give up.
Whether you're loved up together, loved up apart, or singling and mingling have a love filled day today. Even if you havent got a romantic flame burning right this minute, make some time to share some love to your friends, your parents, you grandparents and even your pets. If there's a person in your life that brings you happiness, then they deserve some love too. In the end though, remember that you don't ever really need to project love onto someone else, your own mind and body should be the first things you take care of. 'Cause if you don't love you, how can you let anyone else in to do so too?
What are your plans for today?
<3 <3 <3